A r t t h e r a p y ✨
We often put a (usually unconscious) expectation on others to know our every need, feeling, and experience without communicating it to them, which usually sets us up for feeling like our needs aren’t being met at the fault of someone else. The hard truth is that we tend to hold this unspoken expectation in order to avoid the hard work of communication, expressing our needs, and sharing them out loud, which is SUPER vulnerable. I totally get how hard it is!
The thing is, you will be consistently disappointed if you expect others to know what your needs are without telling them. This goes for partners, friends, colleagues, your therapist, family… anyone. All of us are carrying different stories, different needs, and different experiences. Learning to identify and express our needs is such a critical skill, and one that often takes practice and commitment to ourselves. This also means we have to learn to hear and understand others when they express *their* needs, too.
The next time you feel resentful or disappointed that someone isn’t doing something you want them to do, ask yourself, “am I expecting them to do something they might not know I need?” If the answer is yes, practice sharing what you need with them. It’s vulnerable, but vulnerability leads to connection and understanding; resentment and disappointment doesn’t. ~ @lisaoliveratherapy