bad day, but good ice cream
This was my night snack; oatmeal with strawberries and proteinella + quark which I put on after. I’m allowed to exercise again after some really bad weeks. But my goal is to be healthy before school starts again, then I really need to fight. It’s so hard, but I know it’s worth it. ❤️
Semolinapudding aka Grießbrei😍😍 this was my lunch yesterday:) soo there aren't many news.. I survived my written exams and have only the oral exam left until I graduate!! Can't believe it yet.. I should study all day like my classmates but I think all of you know that depressed mood when you just wanna sleep all day? Yes thats me right now.. tomorrow I have an appointment with my dietician and I really don't wanna go bc of weigh in.. haha
Anyway I just hope that summer passes really fast because I don't wanna stay at home w/ my parents any longer.. in september I'm going to Krems an der Donau to study Medical & Pharmaceutical Biotechnology and I'm looking forward to that because it means going away from home and living alone.. which I think is quite a good idea and maybe kicks my depression in the butt.. hopefully.. so thats it for today.. wish you a wonderful evening❤ xxx Lou
Have you experienced extreme hunger in ED recovery? 🤔
Now I say original but what I actually mean is a miserable small version of what what a master piece! This used to be a milk chocolate coated vision of caramel, salted nuts and soft nought. Now I get a tiny bar (thanks sugar tax) which limits the balance of flavours and textures. Once a die hard snickers fan, now I might be turned to ... date I say it? A mars bar girl.... only joking - I always want to get some nuts!
tw? all the number on the scale does is going down and it feels good. maybe better than eating, tho today it has been a good day, i had a nice breakfast, i didn’t get hungry, then i had lunch (pics) it was DELICIOUS. let’s see how it ends!
[ gummy gummy gumdrop ]
two pink haired girls hand in hand; when walking in public it's as if we're asking for stares and judgemental glances
but i honestly couldn't care less,
we're unapologetically us *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
so i had my assessment today with the adult eating disorder services...it wasn’t as bad as i thought it was going to be. i met my therapist half n hour beforehand to have a chat about the past week and what was doing to happen in the assessment which really helped, i’m honestly gonna miss her so much when i’m transferred :( she stayed in the assessment with me the whole time which kept me calm. the ed specialist was really lovely, she asked me loads of questions about my mental state and my life in general. after the assessment she said there’s no doubt that i’m going to be transferred (clearly i do need the help even if i don’t think i do) and also she mentioned day hospital?? now i have no idea what that involves but she said we’ll talk about that later. i’m going to be seeing a dietician to get a meal plan to get me back on track because eating isn’t going very well on my own (i lost again) but i just don’t think i’m going to be able to comply with it, i’m struggling as it is let alone with a meal plan to follow. so my next appointment is on the 8th but i’ll be seeing my therapist for 2 more weeks until we have to finish :( then i’ll be left to the adult services which is apparently a lot more independent and you’re responsible for your own recovery - that’s so scary. my mum is really worried as she thinks that i’m not eating enough (rightly so) and thinks that i’m losing weight (again, rightly so). i don’t want to worry her even more by telling her that she’s right so i’m just lying and telling her i’m fine, adult services can’t say anything to her without my consent anyway. honestly my want to relapse and lose weight is so strong. i feel so guilty, lazy, ugly, fat and insecure. i don’t want to let any of my family/friends down but i can’t deny that i’m struggling a lot right now :/ my worry is that i can’t seem to let go of this illness, i’m looking for a life with my ed but life and anorexia don’t go hand in hand.
#edrecovery #anorexiafighter #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #foodismedicine #anorexiawarrior #recovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #eatittobeatit #strongnotskinny #youarevalid #edfighter #recoverywarrior #recoverywarriors