First, sorry to all the Hellraiser fans. Sorry that you like these movies. (Nudge, nudge, poke, poke) And for the way I'm going to drill them the way Corbin Bersen did those incisors in the Dentist. Also, I can't speak for all the 6 parts of the DoD delegation but I think the Hellraiser series in general is kind of hot garbage. Each one just heating up the others in the metaphorical compost bin that they have created for themselves. While the later attempts have remained a roller coaster of stupidity, I can admit that the found footage attempt gives enough to enter the "movies so bad we love" spectrum. Yes. The cenobites are cool AF, but so are the Transformers and look at the assault and battery Michael Bay inflicted on them. The OG Hellraiser was clever enough for it's day but has not aged well. The 2nd is just a boo fest mixed in with some snoring. The whole point, other than making a short story long.....was that I came across one of Ebert's rules, and it dealt specifically with Numero Dos here. Here it is. "Kirsty!" we hear. And "Tiffany!" And "Kirsty!!!" and "Tiffany!!!" And "Kirstiyyyyyyy!!!!!" And "Tiffanyyyyyyy!!!!!" I'm afraid this is another one of those movies that violates the First Rule of Repetition of Names, which states that when the same names are repeated in a movie more than four times a minute for more than three minutes in a row, the audience breaks out into sarcastic laughter, and some of the ruder members are likely to start shouting "Kirsty!" and "Tiffany!" at the screen."
The found footage started one will probably hit the Die at some point. Maybe some of the others. I did not know there were 9 of these fucking things.
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