Sometimes, you just gotta go against the grain, & say, “screw it.” I’m sorry for the lack of better verbiage, but it’s true.
Today, I had a list a mile long of things I had to do...and instead, I ignored it all. I went to lunch, & spent a few hours with my dear friend & her daughter.
I didn’t set myself up for a clean & organized slate moving into Monday (I didn’t really have the time TBH). This, my friends, gives me anxiety...it always has.
Whatever my current situation is (working outside the home, or not)...I always felt—feel—as though starting my week in a disarray was setting myself up for a mental disaster. I’ve gotten a tad better, but...a dirty house, piles of laundry, & an empty fridge still makes my skin crawl. And most of the time, DESPITE how I’m feeling physically...I end up crawling towards cleaning supplies anyway.
Sometimes I am not sure what causes more anguish...getting it all done & pushing the envelope anyway, so you can then exhaustively relax, OR...letting it allllll go, & sitting amongst the mess—or just down leaving it to come back to later.
As my parents now tell me, “Just relax, it’ll be there tomorrow.” Yet, that’s also the very thing that makes me anxious...IT WILL BE THERE TOMORROW.
Here’s the one thing I do know: I am trying to pay more attention to my patterns. My body is soooo heavily responsive to my mental & emotional state (as is everyone’s), but sometimes I tend to fall a bit harder due to my rocky health road.
I think...my patterns stem from way back. They most likely developed watching my mom (who’s a rockstar of a mother), but...she always pushed through despite how she felt. Things had to be perfect...”A place for everything & everything in its place.” Well, I am this. I’m her. And though I’ve let go in some ways, it’s a foundation that’s built with very solid material.
I don’t think there’s necessarily a problem with feeling great after a clean home/laundry done & put away/organization, etc. I actually think being neat & clean is a wonderful quality & can also help calm the mind. But, sometimes, I’m not sure it’s worth it. So.....here was lunch, one very delicious bite in.☝🏻💋x #thegiftofgoods