8 months today! Thank you everyone for all of your support!
I’ll probably delete this pretty quickly because I hate the way I look, but I’m in an honest mood.
These pics were both taken this weekend. It becomes second nature to put on a smile when you suffer from depression. Depression isn’t fair, and it hurts so bad. The hardest part for me isn’t pretending to be happy; the truth is I’m a pretty good actress at this point. For me, the hardest part is feeling the darkness take a stronger hold than normal and being powerless to stop it. It should be easier to fight when you know that’s what’s happening, but it’s really not at all. I don’t even know the person smiling; that’s just a mask hiding the person on the right. The right is what happens in privacy while sharing funny memes and talking to friends as if everything is okay. It’s not. I’m not.
I’m not good with words, I hate having attention focused on me, and I don’t like being a downer so I’m going to stop now. I just wanted to be open for a minute because so many people suffer in silence thinking they’re alone or people won’t understand. Then it becomes too late. You’re not alone, and it’s okay to let the mask slip sometimes. Stay strong. The darkness will pass eventually. ❤️
If you want to transform your life, and unlock your potential, be the best version of you, you need to start with you!
Sometimes you have to rst to be the best.
Take.some time this evening and reflect and focus on you. 📸 @aloeandglow
Recovery is possible 💕 -
9 months ago It took assistance from my mom to get my clothes off for a shower.8 montjs ago I couldn't stand/sit longer than 10 mins. 7 months ago pain kept me trapped in bed. 6 months ago I rolled (litteraly would roll onto the floor and crawl to my kitchen to use the counter to stand up) out of bed dripping in sweat, using all my energy to just pee. And by the time I got back to my bed I was shivering from the cold. 5 months ago going swimming at the gym for more than 10 mins threw me into a flare & took a 3-4 hour nap every day. 4 months ago I could only walk to the end of my road and back. -
BUT TODAY I CAN...take a full shower all by myself, today I can leave my bed, today I can stand long enough to cook myself a healthy meal, today I swim for 20mins, today I can lift weights (very very light like 5lbs lmao but weight lifting is a passion) today I can walk over mile (w/ my cane), today I don't need a 4 hour nap. TODAY I WENT FREAKING KAYAKING for the first time in my life & loovved it!! -
Sometimes babysteps aren't noticable until you stop & look how far you've come.
No rain, no flowers 🌧️🌷 One of my favourite quotes: it's short, sweet and a little bit cliché but it's also very true, and not only in the literal sense. Of course if you have rain and a very nice garden (not like mine) then rain waters the flowers and they grow, no rain no flowers and we don't get to enjoy the beautiful blooms.. but if we have no bad moments, bad days, we would have nothing to compare and help us acknowledge the amazing days and the special moments. If we don't have the miserable, downpour days, how will we appreciate the beautiful sunshine.
Some of the best, most rewarding moments were made from lifes struggles. If you find yourself in one of lives downpours, remember there may just be a bouquet of flowers round the corner! (Also a bit cliché, but doesn't mean it's not true 😉)
Sent my old therapist an email. Asking if they have a spot open for me to come. Was sooo anxious sending it but I really use some (specialized) support.
Almost immediately I got an email back saying they can see me THIS FRIDAY. I am so relieved and happy. So thankful.
This weekend was filled with some amazing blooming flowers and crocheting on my part. I completed a cap and began a scarf. Crochet and gardening help me with relaxation. What do you do? #selfcare #mentalhealthmatters
Want to know what is responsible for the anxiety and fear
you suffer from!
Let me introduce you to Amygdala, Hypothalamus. 🧠 It's these little beauties that create all the anxiety for us!
The Amygdala helps coordinate responses to things in your environment, especially those that trigger an emotional response.
The Hypothalamus controls the emotional responses, hormone release, and regulates the body temperature.
This response is generated by stimulation of the amygdala. When
the amygdala stimulates the hypothalamus, it sets off the fight-or-flight response. The hypothalamus sends signals to the adrenal glands to produce those uncomfortable hormones, adrenaline and cortisol. 🤯
It is these hormones that are responsible for the increased heart
rate, rapid breathing, blood sugar, dizziness and perspiration.
As well as initiating the fight-or-flight response, the amygdala also plays a role in fear learning. This refers to the process where you develop the association between situations and fear. The Vicious Anxiety Cycle! 🔄
So, anxiety really does make us Human! If we didn’t experience anxiety our brains wouldn’t be working properly. Those of us who struggle have an over stimulated amygdala and so we suffer the consequences.
I hope you spotted the word LEARNING above – that’s the golden nugget with regards to recovery as we have learnt to fear the sensations anxiety gives us, so we can unlearn to fear them! The only reason the amygdala continues to kick off is because we don’t want it too! The only way to really make peace with anxiety is to unlearn and retrain our minds by:
3. Stop believing those anxious/negative thoughts
The beautiful @seeingstarsfall
Photo by @seeingstarsfall
"Mental health matters!
I consider myself to be very blessed to be surrounded by loving people who understand how important mental health is. They are there for me when i need them the most. My mental health has been stable since finishing counselling but I know that part of being bipolar is that it may not last. But hey, even if the bad days do come I'll get through it. Still waiting to see Psychology, may take a while. Very thankful for stability thanks to my own self work, medication and amazing family & friends.
Tee by @hellostigma
#endpillshaming #mentalhealthisimportant #bipolar #bipolarbear