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•• 2/2 — the point being, I guess, is that me choosing to do more because two miles is more than no miles, because two miles means I’m not dead, because one mile is more than zero miles and much less than the 6-8 miles I used to grumble about... That means more than any of the ‘freedom’ I had before. When we’re removed from what matters for an extended period of time, the important stuff has a way of setting itself apart, of emerging as ‘the important stuff’. I’ve been a miserable bitch for a long fucking time... Even before the injuries of the last year. I embraced my misery, reveled in it. And goddamn, is that shit exhausting and worthless. Misery and suffering, when separated from the pain and REAL effort of doing the important stuff, is just self-pity, and self-pity is a pathetic fucking crutch. Misery and suffering and hatefully slogging through the crap instead of doing what we can with what we’ve got is a choice... And I’ve been fighting that choice. Fighting the chance to break down my mental barriers. Fighting ‘the break’, like a stubborn mule, because all I had was this false sense of strength — and for what?! That facade crumbled as soon as shit got real. I became a bumbling baby too weak to ask for help, to weak to reach out, too weak to be anything but angry and entitled. And you know what? Fuck that shit. I choose sunshine. I choose gratitude. I choose joy. ⚡️⚡️⚡️ #notdead #beepbeepmotherfucker
Out and about with my main man today, who obviously cannot be bothered to selfie with Mumma. But hey, we're alive, you know now, so there's that. 🤷‍♀️ #stillbusy #alive #notdead
#MorningMessage #AttitudeOnGratitude #Rise #Shine #ChoosePeace #ChooseLove I am grateful for the opportunity to share bits of my life with you. I appreciate your understanding and every message of hope that I receive. There is a lot of pain in the world. There needs to be more hope and encouragement. I do what I can for those that will allow me to and to those that don't, I just serve a smile and try to be an example. I have worked to treat others how I would like to be treated and show love. I have not always been successful in that regard, but that is a part of a spiritual walk. I am a high functioning addict who has to use coping skills daily. Some days I feel overwhelmed and others I feel ignored. Never let a time lord gdt bored. So when I think I may be getting bored, I find something to do or someone to talk to. I have many invisible friends and godchildren to check in with and on so I stay grounded in my faith that tells me I'm always in the right place. Being out of place to be comfortable being an outsider in a world of inside jokes and work with no hope. My vision is to spread love and rise above being petty or stoop down and play. I live because I have a mission and know that I will only die when it is done, not before. #NotDead #ButGod #OhMomGod #ColeyLovesYou #MomInShaman #OddParent #Christed Book your session today! Let's talk about what you think and look at things differently. Donations gratefully accepted or you can tip me for my creativity! www.paypal.me/ColeyLovesYou Cash app: $ColeyRocks Feel free!
Spring is already here. Just listen to the loud humping frogs. Seems like a lot of fun. 😂 . Small video from my bike commute today. Just open up your eyes and ears for the fun things in life. . . . #lecatwisglat #humpme #mindsetwork #notdead #bikecommuter #spring #whatgoesaroundcomesaround
Happy ending 😬. Thanks for the dance my lovely!! ❤️❤️ #lamaestra805 #handicap #notdead #salsa #salsera #salsanight #love #bogies 🎥 @laura_belle_hernandez
Fun fact: When it’s warm and sunny after a long winter, prairie dogs like to lay flat and soak up the sun outside of their holes. I’m announcing this because I thought there had been some mass killing of prairie dogs until I saw a few of them move 🤣 . . . . . . . . #blackhills #prariedogs #southdakota #windcave #nationalpark #amateurphotographer #parks #newtosouthdakota #blackhillssouthdakota #funny #notdead #sunbathıng #warm #outwest #explore #outside #photography #photo #wherethebuffaloroam
“Everything is just... more difficult now. Harder to move, harder to feel good, impossible to go as fast or as far, and it takes a hundred times more effort to do anything that used to be an auto-function for me”, I whined inside of my own head. “I‘d be fully justified if I decided to give up and live like a piece of shit at this point. I have plenty of reasons I could.” And then I realized that’s exactly why I can’t give up — because for every single one of those very valid reasons that makes even the tiniest movement or function more difficult, there are a million more reasons to shut the fuck up and keep going. Some days, that reason is just so I don’t lay down and die. Other days, it’s because I haven’t laid down and died. I do it just because I still CAN do this. I have places I want to see, mountains I haven’t limped halfway up, oceans I haven’t doggypaddled in... I want to be as functional as my body can be. It’s not about the perfect execution of a physical task by an elite athlete anymore; that’s long gone. Now, it’s doing my *personal* best with what I’ve still got as often as I‘m able. It has been a stunning change to go from a casually invested and easily skilled athlete to someone who struggles with basic movement and mobility... I have to work at it. Over and over. Constantly. That raw physicality will never come easily, ever again. But this is a labor of love and an effort of rage: the pure love of what I’m doing and still being able to do SOMETHING and my unbridled rage at myself, that I took so much for granted. That I was so confident that I could always ‘do it later’. That I so often took the easy way out. And now? Well, now there are no easy ways out. Every single action requires more effort than I ever used to put into the sum, and it demands full commitment from me — of my time, my attention, my balance, my brain. All of it. It’s not about perfection, it’s about progress. It’s about doing the thing as best as I’m able with what I’ve got; exerting more effort because the doing means more. Everything else can just fuck off. • No attachment, no expectation. Passion. Process. Pragmatism. ⚡️⚡️⚡️ #notdead #beepbeepmotherfucker
close your door. if something belongs in your life, it’ll knock. 💌
#NotDead Sorry for not being active :3
2 days with Flo and she still always looks dead (She just checking herself out tho) #flo #notdead #newtank #bikinibottom
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