e. h. -
“What if I read to you a story,
Starting; “Once Upon A Time”,
& you realized that it was your life,
Spelt out on every line. .
Would you hear my voice with wonder,
As it brushed across each word,
& pray my arms had strength to hold,
The truth about your world. .
Would your view on life be different, & would it shock you most to find,
That the things you thought defined you,
Could be summed up in just two lines.
& all the ones you took for granted,
The ins and outs of every day,
Play a bigger part in who you are,
Than you’d ever dare to say. .
Would you wonder at the pages left, & all the places that they’ll lead,
Then vow to make each moment,
One that you’d be proud to read. .
Because there is a story of your life,
But it’s you that holds the pen, & I hope you fill the pages right,
Before you reach the end.” .
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2: The gravity was a little stronger leaving Austin yesterday. I'm usually no stranger to the pull and that tinge of regret and FOMO, but it was pretty bad this time. Heading west, but thinking I made a mistake. Why not east? Friends. Family. Everyone that loves you. "East would have been better." Not gonna rule it out. I got time.
There's usually a place where all of that melts away - typically, it's going west out of Fredericksburg when everything opens up, and a sense of freedom, new places, and the excitement of possibility begins to take hold. It didn't really happen this time. I kept going, and going, and going, not really sure why.
Then I got to El Paso. I saw all the signs for "El Paso Strong". I ended up pulling off the highway to find a sun shade for my car, and ended up finding a beautiful and heartbreaking memorial to the victims of the tragedy earlier this month. It's one thing to just hear about something in the news - it's something else entirely to actually physically see the aftermath in the community.
At a time where I'm continuously frustrated and heartbroken about where the country has headed and what has been unleashed by the highest levels of our government, here I saw a glimpse of the best of what we humans have to offer: a community coming together in love in spite of hate, differences, and the forces that try to tear us apart. Love will always win.
Something about that just really puts things into perspective - I worry about the dumbest shit constantly. I get so flustered and caught up in things that, at the end of the day, really don't matter. When it comes down to it, it's the people in my life and the stories I have that are the real treasures of my life. Hold your loved ones tight tonight. Let them know you care about them. Don't let them not know.
It wasn't long after leaving El Paso and entering into New Mexico that I finally got my "melt away" feeling. I love the desert, but my thoughts are with my family and friends right now. I love all of you, wherever you are.
Not gonna rule it out. I got time.
To everyone who is hurting,
Right now, you might feel like someone, or something is ripping your heart apart, but you know how they say pain makes you stronger? Well, if nothing at all, it does hurt less, when months, or years later, the same thing happens all over again.
No one ever told us how that hurt is good, did they? Because all everyone saw coming with that hurt is the tears, the pain, and the fight that you have to put up. But there's also this peace that comes after it, after the mistake you made, or the one they did, when you come to terms with the ways of life, and with the ways of everything else that comes with it.
You don't have to wait to let go of those tears until its midnight, and you don't have to feel weak for holding onto them, because putting your feelings out there does not make you a coward, it makes you stronger if nothing at all. Regrets, mistakes, and all the burden that you carry with you, let go of it because it is pulling you down at every step of your life. And when you let the hurt win, you let all those things get the better of you.
As you look up in the sky, gulping down that lump stuck in your throat, close your eyes and make a wish, this time, the one where you stop yourself from ruining things, for yourself.
You will always remember the hurt, and while you might think it is bad, it is for your own good, when you finally let go of those tears, and soak in the pain, and let yourself be free, free of all that's pinned you down.
Someone hurting just as much,
© Sanchita 2019