In this one, I'm retelling a night when I realized I didn't want to be my best friend's friend anymore. It's not the main focus of the poem, in fact if I didn't just write that bit of info, I don't think anyone would catch on on any bad feelings. But yes, that was the night I came to accept our entire relationship was too toxic for me want to be a part of it anymore, and those feelings inspired this entire poem to be written.
The French bench part is about a tiny, thirty minute long, part of my high school senior trip to Spain and France. I was sitting on a bench in Nimes, a few hundred steps from the arena when I experienced the feeling of possibly the purest calm I've ever felt. I think I experienced serenity. It was so quiet, the summer breeze so gentle, no voices but the ones of nature and a soft bell of a small tourist bus that was disguised as a mini train. It was truly beautiful.
And this night reminded me of that bench and that beauty because in the moment of sitting on the white fountain, thinking about how cold I was, waiting for the person who I was supposed to love and be best friends with but only felt fear, exhaustion and anxiety at the thought of having to be near and talk to her, I wished I was back there. Back at that bench, with soft wind in my hair and nothing but happiness in my heart.
We went to a house party full of her friends that night. I didn't know anybody but that never bothered me, and it especially didn't bother me then. I was so tired from the realization, I just wanted the anxiety to calm down and I just wanted to go to sleep. I smoked what people say shouldn't be smoked and my friend sat into my lap. I didn't want her there, but I felt like I couldn't make her leave so I didn't even try. I was just so tired. And this poem was born.
Thanks for reading.
#igpoetry #poetrylover #writeaway #rhyme #prose #poetrycommunity #poetryclub #poetryart #poetrybooks #poetryporn #worldpoetry #lovepoetry #poetryislove #onlinepoetry #poetrybook #poet #poetrytime #poetrynation #poetrysocietry #poetrygram #poetryforthesoul #poetrylove #instagrampoetry #instapoetry #poetryofig #bestpoetry #poetrytime