Now I was completely depressed. I used to hide my dark circles and scars on the skin by using cream or sometimes even base. Each time the mates responds with "Rabail why you put on so much makeup on face" I came home and rub my face and cry and scream that what if I show them these scars. They'll criticize anyway. I never reply them back with the same hate and arrogance. I tried to sort things out. I tried to apologise to the mistakes that I didn't even made. But all goes in vein.
My dear friends! They were helping me by fighting with me daily, torturing me with the harsh words, killing me slowly from the inside. My brain was under pressure. I sometimes used to think that why am I even breathing. Things seems heavier. I used to be totally lost when I got sleep paralysis. (Sleep paralysis is a temporary inability to move or speak that occurs when you're waking up or falling asleep)
In an year, I was a rude, Moody and sick girl who wasn't able to take passing grades in class test. I was thinking about my studies, class mates, my friends, my sins and health.
Just 2 months left in the board examination and I haven't learned a single word. I can't even sit and look at the book. My eyesight was getting weaker day by day. I was trying to put myself back together but my mother got ill. She got hospitalized when there was just a week left in final exams. I somehow managed to recall the lectures and the concepts. That's what all I can do. I was feeling that I won't survive now. My friends were making me realize that I made the worst decision. The decision of making them my friends. All alone remembering Him.
Exams started. Two papers went good. The next was maths and at the same day my mother had to go through an operation. Right in the middle of the exam, I lost my senses and my body stopped moving. I want to shout but I failed. Just 15 mints left and my hands started working and my brain initiate functioning and I was able to do anything in the possible time. I left the section"C" and got 71 marks in maths paper. Maybe the checker gave me 1 extra mark for surviving. Mom came home and I hugged her after ages and cried my heart out. (Will be continued)