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Here’s what I know for sure: ➳ Above all else, I want to feel like home for my kids, to be their comfort even when I am their source of tears. ➳ When I honor my intuition, I feel most at peace + most empowered. I am learning to do this more + more. ➳ There is no mood the right song or the right book or the right Tribe can’t turn around. ➳ I am a few weeks shy of turning 35, yet I still look for an actual adult at least once a day. ➳ I am stronger than I ever thought possible, even when I feel weak. . It doesn’t take a side plank on a bustling #rittenhousesquare sidewalk to come to these epiphanies. These realizations, though, make such an act all the more worth it. All the more fulfilling. . Here’s what I want YOU to know for sure: ➳ I am holding myself up. Yes, this means I’m strong, but this also means I lean, I bend, I fall. But I keep trying. So can you. ➳ Who you decided to be when you were little or when you applied to college or when you landed that job doesn’t have to be it. It doesn’t have to be the only path or even your forever. Redefine your possibilities when you want to. ➳ Being a mom doesn’t excuse me from loving myself, my body, + what I’m capable of. Don’t let it stop you either. . Be a #glowgetter , Mama. Join me + we redefine ourselves together. 😘
The last stop on our #girlsday was the nail salon. Believe it or not, it was our first joint #manipedi . It was the perfect relaxing hour after a busy morning at the zoo. 🦒 . She was sitting across the salon “drying” when this song came on: @johnmayer “Daughters.” 😭😭 I had already been in awe of her the whole day: her insightfulness, her curiosity, her intuition. And, of course, her beauty. But it was the next pair of lines from the #songlyrics that hit extra hard. . “But, she's just like a maze Where all of the walls all continually change.” . She is. She’s quick to temper. She’s fiercely competitive. She’s a natural leader (read “bossy”). I know, you all sit in amazement wondering from whom she inherited these traits 🙄 ...she’s just so complex. . But then again, we all are. ☺️ . I don’t need one-on-one dates to see how colorful she makes my world. They sure do help me appreciate it, though. 🙌🏻
Most days, my anxiety looks like impatience. I become short with others—mostly my kids or my parents—when I feel a lack of control or a lack of capability. . Some days, it looks like laziness. This is actually a side effect of perfectionism. When I find the “things” so overwhelming, so impossible to be done perfectly, I don’t know where or how to begin...so I don’t. . I’ve battled with anxiety for much of my adult life. It wrecks havoc on my digestion 😳 + my sleep 😴. It interferes with my confidence + my commitments. It causes me to go go GO then to stop stop STOP. It won’t ever go away. I know this. But therapy helps. ☺️ . Talking to someone who isn’t a friend or a family member, who lets me guide the conversation without judgement or bias, who hears me + sees me + welcomes me, it’s been a gift. I am not ashamed to say I go to therapy (or I wouldn’t publish it on social media!). I just know that if I’m going to put in all this effort to create wellness for my body, I should do so for my mind + heart as well. . You do not have to feel it all, navigate it all, take on it all without letting some of it out, too. There is no stigma in having anxiety nor is there stigma to seeing a therapist. Don’t judge it or yourself for seeking it. Let this be your chapter 1 for wellness on the inside. 😘✌🏻
The writing’s not on the wall yet. ✍🏻 . Every day, I am writing my story. And so are the 3 beauties standing beside me. . As moms. As leaders. As women. . We get to have a say in what our lives look like. We get to create our adventure. . It is never easy. It is never smooth. It is never as predicted. But we are in this together. . As moms. As leaders. As women. . We joined together partially by chance, partially by choice, eternally by passion. That’s what coaching has done for us. We link arms, virtually, every single day—then a handful times in person ☺️—so that we are sure we aren’t doing this thing alone. We’ve seen each other through some of life’s heaviest moments, + will continue to support + lean on one other as we go. That’s what coaching has built for us. And we get to be in the #frontrow for each of our successes, too. We get to inspire one another to reach for more, to encourage each other to be authentic + vulnerable, to celebrate as we generate magic for our families, together. That’s what coaching fosters for us. . And we 4 are just a fraction of this tribe, just a slice of what makes us Tribe Redefine + so much more. Stay tuned this week as I share more of these women’s stories + others that make this Tribe a true community. ☺️ . But don’t miss out. Join us as we continue to stretch + grow + link together. Write your story with us. There’s plenty of space for you. 😘 . Follow the coaching link in my bio so we can chat. Your story + this community are waiting. 🙌🏻 . 📸: @danadewedoffcarney
That’s a trip to @barnesandnoble for us. 📚 . Kellen hits up the train table. Kayden devours #whowasbooks . Paxton scours the shelves for the perfect selection (hence why he’s not pictured) + I soak in the quiet, a few pages, + a latte. 🚂 📖 ☕️ . What can you do today to sooth your soul?! ☺️
Mamas, we totally got this. 👊🏻💗 . On Friday night, I met a few friends for dinner. We “exchanged” Christmas gifts (I use #airquotes because A. It’s April 🤫 + B. Technically, I forgot theirs at home 😬). One of my friends gave me this perfect little journal ➡️ It’s like a gratitude journal, but better bc it’s focused on ME + why I’m capable or confident each + every day. ☺️ . Now that I’ve finished reading #masteringyourmeangirl + am mid #girlstopapoligizing , it is the perfect space of reflection for me to practice what these authors preach: owning my own sh!t. Living my life with purpose. Saying #byeFelicia 👋🏻 to self-doubt. 🙌🏻 . Let’s do this together! . The goal of this journal is to—without apology + without judgement—simply list why I rock each day, why I am going to or already kicking ass. It’s braggy, maybe, but in truth it’s psychology. It’s training my brain to own my confidence so that I really start believing it, acting on it, + living in it every day. 😌 Today, I so totally got this bc I made time for my workout, my nutrition, + my journaling even with a holiday + a sick (camera hog! ➡️ video 1!) kiddo + hours in the car. Plus, I competed day 21 of my 21 day fitness program, nonetheless. 💪🏻 This is a commitment I am proud to have accomplished + the perfect note to kickoff my new journal. ✍🏻 . Mama, how did you totally own the day? Or how will you be sure you “so totally got this” tomorrow?! ✌🏻
Who doesn’t love a new pair of shoes?? I know I definitely do especially when every time I put on those shoes I know I am about to do something that will not only improve my physical health but my emotional health as well. Three and a half years dedicated to @beachbody and haven’t looked back. Everyday is a new day some just start with a new pair of shoes. How do you choose to start your day? #newshoes #nike #beachbody #Beachbody coach #fitmom #newday #lift #firewifelivingafitlife #triberedefine
Podcast rec coming in hot! 🔥🔥 . If you are human, like to challenge your thinking, have experienced any challenges, or simply have a 1/2 hour you can spare from rewatching #gameofthrones , cue up the #earnyourhappy #podcast from April 18th. @loriharder interviews @james.powerful.u , the co-founder and CEO of Powerful U, a personal evolution company with the goal to inspire people to tap into their potential. It’s all about challenging your perception + tapping into the way our perspective + our emotions influence our lives. . In essence, we MUST realize that, according to James, our real change comes when we can see our past with love, gratitude, + appreciation. This is another way I can look in the mirror, silence my #innermeangirl , + confidently keep living my life with as much authenticity + intention as I can. ✌🏻 . Listen, then join me in doing the same. 👊🏻
What are you meal prepping today? 🍴 . Here’s a quick rundown of my menu this week, + what I’ve got cooking: 👉🏻 Preworkout meal: I’m grilling organic chicken sausage, sautéing spinach, + halving my sprouted grain English muffins. 👉🏻 Postworkout meal: I’m baking sweet potato “fries” + making #fixaterecipe sloppy joes. 👉🏻 Meal option 1: my shake! To prep, I’m portioning frozen bags with a serving of spinach + a half banana. 👉🏻 Meal option 2: I’m making + grilling chicken burgers. I’ll assemble them on a @ozerybakery one bun with hummus + tomato. 👉🏻 Meal option 3, dinners! Im getting ahead here, too! I’m going to sauté peppers for steak fajitas, grill chicken, steam broccoli, cook up brown rice + whole grain pasta, + assemble our fave broccoli kale slaw. . The kids will help me also clean + portion fruit + veggies for easy snacks, plus we will make our own “trail mix” with pistachios, #dairyfree dark chocolate chips, + @traderjoes vanilla almond granola. 😊 We’ll also be baking @ambitiouskitchen #chickpearecipes blondies to bring for #eastersunday ! . It takes effort, but it is more than worth it! If you want recipes for any of these things, just ask! 😘
Nutrition doesn’t have to be complicated. ✌🏻 . When you understand nutrition—from portions to macronutrient balance to what foods your body (or even your mind) does or does not tolerate—it is far easier to remain consistent with it. That’s why I can go out to dinner with girlfriends tonight without feeling deprived or like I will “detail” my diet. I do not diet; I simply know what my body needs, + I deliver it. 🤗 . Here is a look at last night’s #springbreak2019 #easydinner : avocado Ezekiel toast with turkey bacon + sautéed spinach. I’ve kept it just as simple today: 1/2 Ezekiel English muffin with ghee + spaghetti squash + chicken sausage for breakfast, a #reesesegg during our neighborhood egg hunt, + my #dailyshake for lunch. (Hey, I’m human. 😉) . I’ve already checked the menu for tonight to make sure I’ll select something to align with what my body needs, including a glass of wine. 😌 Nutrition does not have to be complicated, but it sure is even more healthful with a little knowledge, forethought, + consistency.
Confidence + kindness. 🙌🏻💗 . I couldn’t agree more—traits that inspire + encourage. I am blessed to have so many women in my life who embody these qualities, women I learn from + who inspire me to grow as a result of knowing them. I’ll tag them in the comments. Will you do the same? 💗🙌🏻 . #kindnessquotes #confidenceissexy #strongwomen #womensupportingwomen #momssupportingmoms #momtribe #girlgangstrong #triberedefine #teamfitdynasty #strongissexy #hotmessmoms #kindnessrocks #kindovercool #bekindtoyourself #leadfromthefront #realmomsofinstagram
Spread some #goodvibes ! Be a better part of someone’s day. Here are some ideas: 👉🏻 Hold the door for someone. 👉🏻 Say hello to a stranger. 👉🏻 Pay for someone else’s coffee. 👉🏻 Leave a surprise treat for the mailman or a neighbor. 👉🏻 Give someone flowers, just because. 👉🏻 Tag a friend in the comments + let them know why they’re so awesome! . Who is up for an impromptu #kindnesschallenge ?! 💗
When I was little, I always knew what I wanted to be when I grew up: a teacher. I played school every single day. It took me hours to complete my homework as I had to teach the lesson first. I made time in my day to play Barbies, too, but never really house. “Mom” was a title I knew I’d take on, but not one I often role played as a child. Maybe it’s because I had the world’s best mom + knew I couldn’t compete. More realistically, though, it’s because while I knew motherhood would be a part of my life—the most significant part, at that—I always knew motherhood wouldn’t entirely define me. 😬 . Is that a weird thing to say? . It’s just my truth. I’m not made for 24/7 #mommyhood . Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids more than I love myself. I wouldn’t be me without my #3kiddos . But I know they wouldn’t be them, either, if I was full-time mom + only full-time mom. The hours I spend at school allow me to appreciate my crazy kids, their arguing, + their snack obsession. Time away is a blessing for all parties involved. 😉 . My life as Mom + Teacher seems full, but full for others rather than full for me. That’s where coaching comes in. My decision to take time to build a wellness business allows me to find sanity + health that is truly for me, which only makes me better at showing up for them. Why? Coaching gives me a space to marry the two best parts of me: mom + teacher. It allows me to educate + motivate + love on + mentor others. It allows me to be a #momofmany —many kids, many hats, many passions. 💗 . Motherhood isn’t the only defining aspect of your adult life. It is beautiful + complicated + soul-inspiring, but it doesn’t have to be it for you. As a mom of many, you can be MANY. You can redefine yourself, no matter how busy or how set you think you are. Meet with me + @lesliefilippi + some of our other coach besties tomorrow night to learn more. Drop a ✌🏻+ the link is yours.
Learn how to pause rather than quit. ✌🏻 . I am paraphrasing advice I heard during my workout this morning. When it (define, or redefine 😉 “it” on your own terms!) gets tough, pause. Take a breath. Find your life. Then keep right on going! . This is true in all areas of my day. As a mom, as a coach, as a teacher, as a woman seeking forever health, I am faced with conflict + hurdles + stress—just like all of you. When I start my day with a workout that challenges me + I reset then push through, my mind is set on the right path for the rest of the day. When my tribe + I pause our busy morning lives to powwow, strategize, + set goals, our commitment to our biz is stronger. When I take time during our often harried car ride to daycare to giggle + sing #5sos with this #boybandobsessed 3 year old, my mood is lighter. When I take a few minutes to reflect alone during a busy school day, I am recharged for my next set of #teacherlife expectations. But on the days when I don’t take time for these little moments, when I don’t pause the chaos, I am more likely to give up, sit down, turn off ALL of it. 💗 . That’s what my anxiety looks like: it is my tendency to go go GO until I’m burnt out, overwhelmed, + DONE. As I’ve worked to manage it, I’ve discovered that #anxietyrelief for me is more likely when I have little pauses—breaks for breath or fun or solitude—built into my day. When I don’t pause, I quit. 🥺 . So pause. Right now. Sit. Smile. Breathe. Then get back to it, girl. ✌🏻
Not all transformations are external. ☺️Some happen on the inside. That’s the part of my journey I’m most grateful for + the reason I’m so persistent (or annoying?!) in my constant sharing of it. . Humor me for tonight. It is #transformationtuesday after all. Scroll ➡️ to see me, summer 2013. I was the thinnest + most unhealthy I’ve ever been. I will not tell you I suffered from true #disorderedeating , but I had such intense gastritis that spring that lead me to horrible eating habits. I’m talking an Ensure 😝 + some fruit + maybe a #strawberrypoptart or 2 each day for WEEKS as I found my way to eating again. My still-undiagnosed kidney disease intensified my stomach issues so much, I was nauseated + in pain most days. Eating seemed to make it worse. 😕 . Then something too common happened. People began complimenting me: “you’re so thin! You look great! You have 2 kids?!” Though I didn’t want to hear these comments—all I wanted was to understand why I felt so consistently sick for so long—it was difficult to not internalize them as praise. Any #wordsofaffirmation person would tell you, that praise is addicting. I started stressing about my weight (the lowest it has ever been) more than my health, my pants size more than my wellness. I wasn’t really working out, though I’d run occasionally, + I definitely wasn’t eating enough...not at all. And the kicker? I still HATED my body. That’s why in every pic of thin Pam, I have strategically placed myself behind others. 🙄 . Even after I was finally diagnosed + working to heal my #iganephropathy , I still struggled to allow my body to put on weight—and it showed. Finally, a colleague spoke up. “You’ve lost a lot of weight, Pam. And you definitely didn’t need to.” 😯 This struck me. It didn’t change me just then, but it definitely landed with me. This comment grew from a nudge to reconsider my whole wellness al the way to a burning desire to dive into comprehensive health. So here I am, almost 6 years, 1 extra kid, + 11 lb later, feeling strong, healthy, confident, redefined. 😌 . If you’re ready for a transformation like this—one that starts on the inside + strengthens the outside—let’s chat! 💗
I have no words. 😭 . But I’m gonna try. 😌 . Being a parent is the world’s toughest job. For one thing, baby books + parenting books + advice from friends or family...it’s all well + good, but it never fully prepares you. It is never fully enough. For another, each child is different. He or she requires different approaches + different expectations, gives different emotions + different challenges. And most of all, parenting is a constant game of Chance. It’s a constant testing of endurance + patience + sense of humor. It’s a constant lack of control. 😦 . This get most true today, when Paxton had a rough experience at school. He handled it beautiful + his school handled it perfectly, but I—inside—handled it with panic. With anger. With confusion. All is well. He is fine + safe + happy. But all I could see as I was being relayed the information was this sweet little face, this blue-eyed blessing. My #mamabearmode was activated. 🐻 . He’s not a 6 month old anymore. He’s not reliant on me to solve every puzzle or to address every wimpier. He’s growing + strong + wise—as today more than proved. 💙 . This isn’t the first time one of my kiddos has experienced something I’d like to undo. It won’t be the last. I’m sure every time, I’ll see the baby in them, while they act like the mature mini adults they figure out how to be.
When I was putting Paxton to bed last night, he said he had some questions about my weekend. . “Did you have fun on your adventure?”, he asked first. I told him that I sure did. That it is so nice to be with some of my favorite people doing some of my favorite things. . “Did you cry on your adventure?” “Well, yeah, Buddy, I did. I cried because I missed you guys. I cried because it was emotional—in both good + heavy ways.” . “But Mom, did you laugh on your adventure?” More than not. 😉 . His wording of my weekend as an “adventure” is so very Paxton. He’s my sensitive + creative one, yet also the most optimistic + almost idealistic of my kids. His questions, too, were so very Paxton. Fun, tears, laughter. He sees these as essential elements of everyday life. . Being a mom is an adventure, one I wouldn’t trade for anything, but this coaching thing? This community—the fun + tears + laughter—this is an adventure I did not foresee coming into my life, yet it continues to redefine for me what is possible, what I am capable of, + what true friendship really feels like. . It’s more than shakes + Starbucks selfies. It’s more than workouts + Instagram word counts. It’s more than color-coded containers + coach collectives. It’s an adventure every day to reach for more + to become more + to live more—together. . Moms, come on an adventure with us. See what fun + tears + laughter coupled with the intention to help others can do for you + for your family. Thursday night we are giving a look inside the world of coaching with our team as a mom of many: how we make it work, why it is important to us, + what the impact has been. DM me for details or comment below with your fave Starbucks drink of choice + I’ll be in touch with the details. 😉
What do I see? ➳ . ➳ I see the future. I see infinite possibilities. I see us living our best lives. I see all smiles. I see 4 forces of nature (well, 5 with the the beautiful @danadewedoffcarney 📸). . ➳ Truly, though, what I see if what I means when women come together. And it is freaking fabulous. 🙌🏻
I am so in love with Manuka Honey all the health benefits from just 1 tsp. are amazing!! Plus, it tastes wonderful in my decaf green tea every morning. Who says pizza has to be unhealthy?? Not me... #healthyfood #fitness #healthymom #healthyeating #manukahoney #cleaneating #livingmybestlife #triberedefine #firewifelivingafitlife #momlife #beachbody
Last night, Kayden asked me to help her log into Google Slides. “I want to make a book report,” she said. “For fun.” 🤗 . I mean...who is this girl?! Oh, right. She’s an English teacher’s daughter. 📚 So here she is, awake early for a softball game that ended up being cancelled, continuing her slideshow on the #owldiaries series. She is also taking little breaks to read her Who Is Jules Verne book—her next self-imposed project. 😂 She is an independent, inspired, + insightful girl who is best when she is living her life by her own terms. If these are her terms—and if this is his passion—I’m all for it. 🙌🏻 . Lesson learned: do what you love + what you enjoy. Follow your passion, no matter how others may perceive your choice. It is never work when you adore it. Plus, you just might inspire someone—even if that someone is yourself. 💗
➳ I was recently asked what the mission of Tribe Redefine is, + why I selected that name to represent #mypeople in this coaching biz. ➳ . ➳ I’ll start with the name. “Tribe” has always been a part of me. I grew up in Hopatcong, a north Jersey town with a Chief mascot. Then I became a Lenape Indian, as I’ve taught English in this south Jersey high school for most of my adult life. Most significantly, though, is that “Tribe” describes a community linked by common culture. That common culture is our desire to “redefine” our lives + our sense of balance. I truly believe balance looks different on everyone + in every new day. When we allow ourselves to redefine that perspective, we allow within us the ability to show more grace. 🤗 Plus, I see “redefine” as a word rooted in a sense of optimism, but also one that is grounded in reality. That’s how I like to see myself, too. ☺️ . So then, what is the mission of Tribe Redefine? It’s pretty simple: we strive to be the coach of one person each day—some days, that one person is ourselves—as we focus with intention + without hesitation on what we know brings us health, happiness, + the ability to empower others. 💕 . ➳ On an even more personal note, Tribe Redefine is my gift to my daughter. It’s my way of showing her that a #momofmany who wears plenty of other hats CAN dream big. It’s my way of showing her that we can #daretobegin a new endeavor or a new adventure whenever + however we feel called to do so. It’s my way of showing her that her strong voice is a good thing, that her tenacious enthusiasm is a blessing, that her ability to lead is a treasure. 👧🏻 . ➳ Redefine with me. Redefine with us. Tap into your voice + enthusiasm + leadership to show your daughter what’s possible—while redefining yourself in the process. ✌🏻 We are hosting our next sneak peek a week from tonight, but you don’t have to wait. Follow the link in my bio to apply, or show some love to this post + I’ll be in touch. 😘
Let’s talk mini vacays for a minute. 🏛 . Spring break is finally drawing near. Summer vacation is right around the corner. Simple one- or two-night travel is more + more doable. What are your fave destinations? 🤗 . If I had my wish, we would visit DC every year. I had never been until I turned 29, + maybe that’s why I appreciate it so much. I adore the history. I am in awe of the #lincolnmemorial every single time. I can’t get enough of the museums + culture + dining. It is my absolute fave for a quick, little getaway. I really hope we bring our kids this year so they don’t wait as long before experiencing it. . Top Rec: If you #visitwashingtondc you have to check out the @omansion 🙌🏻 It is really impossible to describe. Not a free museum, but worth it! . So tell me, where is your go-to #minigetaway , with or without the kids?
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