Very long post:
Suicidal survivor.... I don’t know who needs to hear this but DON’T DO IT!
I found myself overcome with the thoughts of ending my life. The smile on my face meant nothing, the love I gave didn’t mean I loved myself. I felt invisible, I felt tortured. Every breath I took, I hated. People just always thought I was so strong, but every time someone would say see you later I thought, I hope not.
One day,it was going to be my last, I planned it out. My boys would be just fine (I told myself) I didn’t matter to anyone, and enemies would love me gone anyway, so why not go... I went to the bathroom to end it, and as a Christian woman I asked God to just please take me right now so that I wouldn’t take my own life. I stopped a moment and called out JESUS! Over and over and over! All of a sudden I felt a fight for my life. Jesus came (I know I sound nuts, but I don’t care) all of a sudden I was in an hour of prayer... it’s transformed my whole mind!!! God really saved me! No joke!
So let me reiterate, DO NOT DIE! Jesus will come to bat for you! There is help! You have a purpose and someone does care! Survive my love 💛 seek help! Reach out! Go in for your life, even if it feels no one else will! Matter for you! I’m here as well. My suffering has turned into a testimony! I didn’t fight for just myself, I fought to Minister to you about what truly God will do. I promise. #reachout #suicideprevention #LOVE #HOPE #HEALING #GOD #unashamed #breakingchains #victorious