9 posts

I was listening to a song the other day...& I had the thought about my age 19-early 20 year old self in these photos , πŸ’ƒ . β€œI need to BOTTLE UP that SPIRIT of me...& pour it back in when I start to forget who I really am.” . Every season of life has some of my favorite favorite parts ❀️ And I loved SO MANY parts of this one! . I was DETERMINED & emotionally/mentally #selfreliant ...I had FUN always! πŸŽ‰ Even through all the HARD WORK of school full time (which paid every penny for myself) & while working 20-30 hours a week multiple jobs. . I visited 5 countries in 1 year (I lived in Guatemala for 2 months) 🧳 ✈️ Lived in Utah with my best friend, lots of weekend trips with friends. . If there was something I wanted to do - OF COURSE I WAS GOING TO DO IT! πŸ’ͺ I figured it out & ENJOYED the process. . I loved my friends & family, & they would tell me there #opinions about whatever it was & I would say, β€œThanks, but unless I like my reasons...I’m going to keep doing me.” I wanted to figure out things on my own & in my own time. . When I start to forget that LIVELY πŸ’ƒ#determinedspirit ...I start to become a SHELL of a person I don’t even recognize. 🐚 I feel lost, unsteady, confused, the constant over analyzing & doubting of myself felt like I was like constantly living in a #reactive , out for #survivalstate . . When I would hang out with those who had known me for a long time, or when I would travel with my babies, I would get little glimpses of #theREALme . But when home I was back in the dark. Especially when I was alone at night. #insomnia πŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ This β€œshell effect” 🐚 most notably happened when I was in the depths of #anxiety & #depression ...throw in some life challenges = 🀯😫 . Something happened last summer though, I REMEMBERED #whoIreallywas . Life came back in me πŸ™Œ πŸ’ƒA large part I think because I was SO TIRED of living in the other state of mind. I FOUGHT HARD to get back the lively spirit in me. πŸ‘Š I decided that my life needed the #BESTversionofme ! It needed the woman of #FAITH , of strength & LIGHT! β˜€οΈ My loved my life then, & I love my life NOW ❀️ Both beautiful, transformative seasons...full of heartache, challenges, but also SO MUCH LOVE & SO MUCH FUN! πŸŽ‰πŸ’ƒβ€οΈ .
I understood myself only after I destroyed myself and only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was ❀️ #quotes #understandingmyself #destroyedmyself #process #fixingmyself #whoireallywas #recovery #inspire_me5
I've Been Asking This Question For Over 20 Years. #WhoIReallyWas #Who #AskingOverAndOverAgain #DontKnow # Chito
He busted me for having too much stance !! He told me to get my shit together or I was goin to the pokie.... He says to me who do you think you are?...haha....#kingpin #ifheonlyknew #whoireallywas #stance #jeepnation #kaiden #prouddaddy #riseandgrind #5 .0 #busted #payupsucka #popo
I understood myself only after i destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself, did i know who i really was Sade Andria Zabala #quotes #sadezabala #whoireallywas #thoughts #wordporn